Dealing with Emotions

From Peacebuilding

Contents 1 Purpose 2 Time 3 Participants 4 Materials 5 Process 6 Note 7 Source

Purpose

• To brainstorm ways of dealing with emotions in negotiation;
• To suggest that addressing concerns - instead of dealing directly with emotions – is a more effective way to use emotions in negotiation;
• To identify core concerns that generate emotions in negotiation.

Time

At least 5 minutes for steps I-II of the process. At least 30 minutes for steps III-V of the process.

Participants

It can be played with at least 4 participants, but it works better with a larger group (especially steps III-V of the process).

Materials

• Flip chart papers;
• Markers.

Process

I) Write the following questions on a flip chart paper: “How to deal with emotions? How can we prevent negative emotions to damage our negotiations and use positive emotions to enhance them”

II) Facilitate a brainstorming session: invite participants to respond and report their ideas on the flip chart, discuss.

III) Introduce the following:

“Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro suggest that dealing directly with emotions - in most cases - won't work. They identify three main ways people usually deal with emotions:

• They try to stop having them, pretending to be just rational, cold blooded. But emotions usually fail to stop, they can't just decide to stop feeling;

• They try to ignore them, but usually they fail as emotions affect their body, thinking and behaviour;

• They try to deal directly with them (both theirs' and the others'), but it is extremely difficult to deal with every emotions that comes up during a negotiation, even for a talented psychologist.

Thus, instead of dealing with emotions Fisher and Shapiro suggest addressing the core concerns that generate them. A concern is something that is important to someone, something you worry about and that you have a desire to protect. Concerns are often implicit, even experienced negotiators can be unaware of the concerns that motivate them and their decisions.”

IV) Divide the plenary in sub-groups of 3-7 individuals, distribute flip chart pages and markers, and assign them this task:

“What are the core concerns that stimulate emotions arising in negotiation? Discuss and respond, report your findings on a flip chart page and prepare to present them to the plenary”.

V) Invite each sub-group to present their findings to the rest of the plenary, take note on a flip chart page to summarise all core concerns identified.

Note

You can separate this activity in two parts, and play these at different times during the workshop. The first part of the activity includes steps I to II of the process, the second part includes steps III to V.

Source

The activity has been designed with reference to the ideas expressed in Fisher, Roger and Shapiro, Daniel, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate, New York: Viking, 2005. The text in italic at the the III step of the process has been summarised and adapted from the same book, pp. 8-21.